After Battle Bath Time
by Venra
Summary: It was over. It was over and Bilbo was exhausted, dirty, and his husband promised him a bed to collapse into. (Post Battle of the Five Armies, nobody died, everyone's happy.)


It was over. It was over and Bilbo was exhausted.

Not only had Smaug been cast out of Erebor, but the siege had been repelled; it had taken no less than three armies, the eagles, and Beorn in his majestic if not terrifying bear skin to defeat the wargs and goblins. Bilbo had been so worried, he had snuck out of the mountain earlier that day to trade his share of the gold for the Arkenstone, to try and fix what he had broken between he and Thorin. Thorin, who when he found out what Bilbo had done was so angry, so seemingly ready to cast Bilbo out that the Hobbit was immeasurably shocked when he didn't. Bilbo had never seen Thorin look so hurt and betrayed, or more startlingly, confused. It was as if his mind was warring against itself, trying to reconcile what Bilbo did with what Thorin wanted. In the end, though, Thorin embraced him roughly and it felt to Bilbo as though the Dwarf King was going to squeeze all of the air out of him.

"The Arkenstone is the heart of the mountain," Thorin said, and Bilbo could hear the rough growl of anger from where his ear was crushed against Thorin's chest. "I have never felt such anger at such a crime but at the same you are mine, Bilbo Baggins. You are my husband, my heart. I'll never let anyone or anything take that from me, even if I have to chain you to my throne." Bilbo froze at those last words, filled with a feeling of dread. They were opposite to what Thorin had promised when they were married not a week ago in Lake Town. When Bilbo had expressed a desire to go back to the Shire Thorin had looked upset, admitting that Bilbo could visit the Shire whenever he wanted, but he had hoped that Bilbo would stay in Erebor long enough first to consider it home before he went back. Bilbo told Thorin he didn't know yet how long it would take him to think of Erebor that way, but now that they were married he would always, always and forever return to Thorin's side, and that their marriage was his promise of that. Thorin had been pleased, saying he just didn't want Bilbo to resent him for wanting to keep him near, and so the Dwarf promised to always let Bilbo do as he wished to prevent that. So when Thorin threatened to chain him, Bilbo knew that his husband was not in his right mind, that perhaps the gold madness had taken hold and he hoped he could break it before they lost everything.

When the siege started and they began sending messenger ravens to the Iron Foothills, but Bilbo knew that there would either not be enough Dwarves coming or that they would arrive too late. He did not try to counsel Thorin, as he had already decided to trade his portion of the gold to get the Arkenstone back from Bard and Thranduil, hoping he would be able to win back Thorin's trust as well as help. But then, as he was debating with the two, the siege turned into war as an army descended from the Grey Mountains and began the Battle of the Five Armies.

Even now that the battle was over and everyone was safe, he could only imagine all the things that could have gone wrong that would have destroyed Bilbo's life. When Bilbo had found the three descendents of Durin on the battlefield he had been certain for brief horrifying moment that all three of them were destined to fall. None of them did, however, and Bilbo had cried with relief when he found Thorin, conscious and whole and apologizing to Bilbo with eyes clear of the fog of madness that had been with him before. Fili and Kili had been injured too much to leave the camp, but Kili at least was fine enough to complain quite loudly to Fili about trying to sleep on his stomach since the large gash on his back and his broken leg prevented anything else. Fili had merely groaned at him to shut up, he himself suffering a manageable head injury and a broken arm. Thorin and Bilbo had only stopped in the healing tents to check on the gash on Bilbo's head and be told that there wasn't much they could do for his poor broken Hobbit toes, as splints were fairly useless for such small appendages. Thorin had innumerable cuts and bruises and a broken rib that had to be bound, but Bilbo knew it could have been much, much worse. If he had been hit anywhere else than where he had… it was too much to think about, so he didn't. Thorin had declined having his wounds cleaned, and instead grabbed Bilbo's hand and began walking back up to Erebor.

Which is where they were now, leaning slightly on each other as the adrenaline of battle leeched out of them and in its place a deep-set exhaustion filled it in, leaving Bilbo feeling as he never had before, even after protecting Thorin from Azog.  
"Where are we going?" Bilbo asked after clamouring over the fallen stones of the previously closed-off entrance.

"I said I was going to give you a proper bed after this was all over, didn't I?" Thorin's voice was tired yet undeniably pleased as he tugged Bilbo across various halls and passages, far deeper into the mountain than Bilbo had ever been.

"Yes, but are there any even left? It's been a long time and we're not even sure it's safe," it could have been an argument or curiosity, but for the most part Bilbo was tired enough that he would have let Thorin drag him to sleep on top of a pile of gold as they had done the first night if that's what his King desired. He didn't know how Smaug had tolerated it, gold was perhaps the least comfortable bedding imaginable, and Bilbo had slept on Gloin's axe accidentally one night.

"I had Nori check on the royal chambers when we got here, they were dirty but almost entirely intact except for the furnishings in the main room," Thorin frowned a bit but then smiled gently. "The entire company is there right now except for the injured ones, apparently they've cleaned up for us, love."

Bilbo didn't know what to expect of the royal chambers. They certainly sounded impressive but as they moved from a grand hall, he noticed that the hallway leading to the chambers was much lower than the almost ceilingless caverns of the common areas. There were guards posted outside of the entry, surrounded by rubble as if they had always been there, but they were illuminated by beautiful crystals that hung from the ceilings and walls and provided a warm green or blue light.  
"It's night now, but after we have cleaned up during the day the ceilings are polished and placed so that the sky reflects in all major parts of Erebor. You'll discover that Dwarves enjoy light just as much as any other race, my Hobbit, we just hide the way we get the light." Bilbo felt quite embarrassed as his face warmed and tears prickled his eyes. He wasn't about to cry because of the information he had been given, but rather the realization that Thorin trusted him, something Bilbo thought he had lost with the Arkenstone. But here he was, and the Dwarven King was revealing the secrets of his home, something Bilbo knew Thorin didn't impart lightly. He didn't cry, however, and instead listened rapturously as his husband imbued him with secret Dwarven knowledge and it filled Bilbo with hope that he really would be comfortable with Erebor as his true home one day.

It was really quite late by the time Bilbo and Thorin got there, they could hear loud snores within some of the shut off rooms of the royal chambers. Thorin merely took him through the central room, which was a large barren circular room carved into the squarness of the surrounding chambers which contained only a large pile of destroyed furniture and ornate fireplaces in the corners.

"When we rebuild Bombur suggested we put a kitchen into the back half… if you'd like," Thorin seemed a bit uncomfortable in this suggestion, as if he wasn't sure that would be something Bilbo actually wanted. "Bombur will be in charge of the main kitchens, but he mentioned how you enjoyed cooking, so I thought that maybe a kitchen of your own would be desirable." Bilbo smiled, stopping to kiss Thorin on his chin (which was as high as he could reach without risking harming his toes any further) before taking both of Thorin's hands in his own.

"A good kitchen is essential to any Hobbit home, thank you." Thorin seemed relived at this, and then began leading his husband once more to another wing of rooms, until they reached the room with the most ornate door and the furthest away from the original entrance, though it was right off the hallway leading to the main room.

When they entered the king's chambers Bilbo was nearly overwhelmed with the comfort he felt. There was already a fire filing the room with its warmth, and to Bilbo's surprise the flooring was rich dark mahogany rather than stone. This matched the intricately carved four-poster bed that was draped with dark blue velvet and was embedded with various jewels. The ceiling and bed were low enough that the Hobbit did not feel like he was in a place not built for him like he had felt at Lake Town, Beorn's house, and Rivendell. Instead he felt the furniture fit his stature quite well.

"Ah! Bed, you are the only treasure I have really been looking forward to!" Bilbo exclaimed, landing face-first into the turned-down bedclothes. He nearly moaned with satisfaction at the feeling of the soft luxurious furs on his face and he pet the fur throw in an idle way, noting how it was not dissimilar to the fur in Thorin's cloak, but the lack of weathering made it much softer and almost fluffy. A deep chuckle sounded behind Bilbo and he found himself lifted bodily before being placed back on the floor in Thorin's arms.

"I know I promised you, but you cannot sleep just yet, darling." Bilbo let out a sound of displeasure but wrapped his arms around his husband anyways.

"We are not having sex, Thorin. We fought a battle today and if I attempt anything more physical than changing into my bedclothes, I will actually fall into a coma." Bilbo laughed as Thorin sputtered above him.

"I didn't- Bilbo, no, my ribs are broken," Thorin nonetheless lifted Bilbo off his feet and began to move towards a door Bilbo hadn't noticed before. "We are drenched with blood, and no matter how tired we are, we should at least be clean before we sleep."

Bilbo nodded lazily and wondered briefly about how they were going to get enough water and rags to clean themselves when Thorin opened the door and deposited Bilbo in the most wonderful bathroom he had ever seen. To the far right there was a door that seemed to be a water closet, and to the left there was a vanity with a mirror that took up the top half of the wall. It was all dimly lit by the same crystals Bilbo had seen throughout Erebor and showed off the wonderful marble flooring and the absolutely huge bathtub in the center of the room. The tub, if it could be called that, was sunk completely into the floor and could easily fit eight grown Hobbits, or maybe six dwarves. It steamed in the middle of the room and it appeared there was a spout that fed it water from above, and a mini-sluice that could drain it below.

"Erebor is fed by many hot springs, whenever you want a bath you needn't have to wait at all," Thorin rumbled and when he turned around, Bilbo discovered Thorin already undressing himself. His heaviest outer armour had been abandoned at the healing tents, but that didn't seem to save his regular clothing from being dyed red, luckily from other's blood rather than his own. Bilbo began to follow suit, but finished quickly as he didn't have nearly the same amount of layers that Thorin did. He blushed a little and began to help his husband undress, because although he really wasn't up for sex, there was still a newness to their coupling that made Bilbo feel uncharacteristically shy in the face of Thorin's impressive Dwarven shape. Thorin hadn't taken him until they were married, which had surprised Bilbo. While casual liaisons seemed common for the dwarves who desired them, courting a partner was different. Since dwarves were naturally distrustful of those who had not earned it yet, courtship was a way to ensure that the dwarf was not leaving him or herself vulnerable, and so sex was normally off the table until marriage or at least very late into courtship. Bilbo understood that he and Thorin's romance was unimaginably rushed, and that due to their long lives Dwarves could take years to decide on their Ones, if they wanted one at all. Bilbo had understood Thorin's reasoning for chastity, but there were times he had been more than a little frustrated when he could touch Thorin but not in the way he really wanted to. Luckily for Bilbo, though, a quest as dangerous as their own had more than enough distractions.

At the moment, Bilbo just wanted to sink into that beautiful looking tub and wash away all the grit of the day and let it empty down the drain. When the couple was both naked Bilbo carefully placed his toe in the water, feeling for a good foothold before moving completely in. There were seats along the sides fortunately so that Bilbo could sit in the water without drowning, and Thorin moved into the centre of the tub where the water came up past his hips. They both began cleaning in earnest with soft rags and sandalwood smelling soap. It was pretty much bliss for Bilbo as the water began to pinken with the blood that had covered them, only to be washed away as Thorin opened the channel that delivered more water. It was blissfully hot without burning, Bilbo could feel each of his sore muscles loosen and he regained motion that battle and travel and poor sleep had stiffened. Thorin cleaned himself quickly and efficiently before reaching to the side of the tub and grabbing something before dunking his head under water. After he came up, Bilbo looked at his hands trying to determine what Thorin had retrieved. It was a golden wide-toothed with rubies in its handle. Thorin looked at it a bit before meeting Bilbo's eyes.

"There's.. a tradition amongst Dwarves for after they have completed a long journey," Thorin paused, trying to collect his words before continuing. "We let our partners clean our hair, it's.. metaphorical. Letting someone take out our braids and reduce us to our natural forms. It's supposed to signify coming home." Thorin focused on the comb, turning it around in his hands before Bilbo gently got up and moved towards his husband, taking the comb from Thorin and kissing him just below his clavicle.

"I would be happy to clean your hair, Thorin." He looked up into Thorin's eyes and saw nothing but contentment in them.

"And will you let me do the same for you, love?" The Dwarf king reached out to tug a little on the braid and bead he'd put in the Hobbit's hair in the middle of their courtship. The braid on its own was a sign of camaraderie, but with the bead it broadcasted to all Thorin's intent. Bilbo nodded emphatically before Thorin moved them so they both would be comfortable, with Thorin sitting in front of Bilbo.

He began by gently loosening Thorin's braids, placing the clasps safely to the side, he tugged the waved hair from its styling, kissing Thorin's ear when he finished. He could see Thorin's smile in his peripheral vision and it pleased Bilbo like nothing else that he was the one to put such a smile on his King's face with such a simple action. After, he grabbed the soap once more and lathered Thorin's mane. Trying to keep any soap out of the Dwarf's eyes, Bilbo proceeded to aggressively massage Thorin's scalp in a way that caused the King to moan in pleasure. Clever hands shampooed the hair despite all of its knots and tangles to ensure that no blood or dirt remained. After rinsing Thorin's hair, the King appeared as languid as a cat in a sunbeam, it was so nice to see a man who for as long as Bilbo had known him and probably much longer than that, was always on edge, never letting himself fully relax even at his happiest. Even on their wedding night there was the undercurrent of stress brought about by the uncertainty of the future. But now all of that had been settled, it was exhilarating for the Hobbit to know that his husband could relax. This, more than anything else confirmed to Bilbo that they had actually won.

Picking up the comb, Thorin handed Bilbo a bottle of oil. Though he'd never needed it himself, Bilbo knew ladies in the Shire, including his mother, used an oil like this to condition their hair and help prevent tangles. It made sense that Thorin used this, because despite all appearances Dwarf hair was actually quite soft rather than the coarseness he expected. Thorin's hair still fell into disarray when they didn't have time to properly clean it, however, and Bilbo was happy that he'd be able to run his hand fully through his husband's hair once he finished. After applying the oil, Bilbo took the comb and began at the very bottom of Thorin's hair, being as gentle as possible with the most sensitive part, he quickly moved upwards, enjoying Thorin's hums as the comb moved softly but efficiently over his scalp. When Bilbo finishes, Thorin turns around, taking the soap and burying his hands in the Hobbit's hair. It is much quicker this time, Bilbo's hair being much shorter and more manageable. Still, Thorin draws it out in order to relax his husband completely, using the oil to slick Bilbo's skin and providing a neck and shoulder massage with surprisingly adept hands. Bilbo hadn't realized just how stiff his neck had gotten until Thorin worked out the kinks one by one, and by the time they had rinsed and towelled off in outrageously fluffy white towels, Bilbo was nearly asleep on his feet.

Moving back into the bedroom, Bilbo was pleased that the fire was still warm enough that the air didn't contrast too much with the warmth of the steamy bathroom. Thorin moved into the side of the bed closest to the door and Bilbo crawled over him instead of walking all the way around the large bed to the other side. Thorin chuckled, grabbing him by the waist and tucking the Hobbit against his body, Thorin then dragged the blankets on top of them both. Bilbo let out a sigh of contentment and snuggled back. He'd never slept naked before, but the sensation of skin and fur and silk was nothing he'd ever felt before, it was bliss.  
"Comfortable? I know it's not the bed in your little Hobbit hole, but I hope it's sufficient," Thorin's voice now sounded as tired as Bilbo felt, his eyes nearly drooping completely shut before answering.

"It's perfect," the Hobbit mumbled, squeezing Thorin's hand with his own where the lied intertwined on his stomach.

"Do you.. do you think this will ever be home?" Bilbo smiled, knowing that Thorin's main concern, even on the edge of a long well-deserved sleep was his own comfort.

"The Shire will always be where I grew up, Thorin. But I don't belong there anymore, I would never fit in again and I don't want to. I want to be with you, we can build our new lives together and this will be our home." Bilbo felt Thorin's pleased hum against his back, just as he let out his own satisfied yawn.

"I'll have to make you a ring. As nice as this one is it means less than if I make it." The king nearly whispers into Bilbo's ear, tracing his fourth finger on his left side. It was a dwarvish tradition that Bilbo found incredibly suitable for the stout people. In Hobbiton, everyone just knew who was married to whom. At their wedding Thorin had given him a ring that belonged to his father, it was beautiful but Bilbo liked the idea of his husband making him jewelry with Bilbo in mind. It was more personal that way.

"I'd love that, but Thorin?"

"Yes?"  
"Before that, can we get some sleep first?" Bilbo's eyes were already closed and there was nothing bar another war that would prevent him from drifting off in the next few moments. The last sensation he felt was a soft kiss at the nape of his neck and that rumble of his husband's voice before surrendering to a well-deserved rest.

"Yes, love."


End file.
